Wednesday, 06 May 2009

• How can you heal this heartbreak?

  So I dated this guy for about 15 months. Everything was wonderful and it was really great, but I always had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that he wasn't always honest with me, not that he was cheating, but that he wouldn't tell me when I was irritating him, or when he'd rather be alone,. Eventually thats what broke us up. Afterwards though, he wasn't upset at all. He didn't seem to care that our 15 month relationship had come to an abrupt end. Although I was the one who technically ended it, I still felt completely worthless at the thought of him not caring at all. How can you go from loving someone to feeling nothing at all in under a day? I felt completely crushed and heartbroken that maybe all the feelings he said he had for me were nothing more than cheap lies.

  A few months passed and somehow "us" came up into conversation. He then proceeded to list all of my worst qualities as the reason to why he did not care about me. Hearing him say all those things about me left me lower than before. I often thought those things about myself, but hearing the one person you ever truly cared about say them out loud felt even worse. Months had passed and I was still feeling strongly for me, even though I repeatedly told myself that I did not, yet the realisation dawned on me that he never did and never will care for me in the same way I cared for him.

  Now, I see him with other girls and I feel physically sick inside. What have they got that I don't have? Nicer hair? A better personality? A thinner body? A better sense of humour? The knot of thoughts inside my head would weigh me down and make me ill. Now there's this one girl, 3 years younger than me, who appears to be just perfect. I felt immensely jealous of her because I know that I can never be anything compared to her, and how she is seen in his eyes..

  She cheated on him, with his best friend! More than once, yet still he wants her and will do anything to get her back. And now I feel more heartbroken and alone than ever before, what can I do to ever be enough?

  • 12:26 PM
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• Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Datingish... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"

  • 12:10 PM
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